Okay, tomorrow is another day, and I have about 14 hours to get back on the happy horse for work. I have to admit, that I felt kind of defeated. But, I've had the chance to talk things out, went to church, sought out some Godly counsel, and the bottomline is that I'm still going to DO THE WORK. It doesn't matter if others don't want to do things, as long as I know that what I'm doing is in line with what He's asking of me, then I'm okay. I know that might not make a whole lotta sense, but bear with me.
Yeah, I struggle, and complain, and yell, and fight, and get frustrated to the point that I just want to punch the crap out of something when it comes to work. The more I think about it, the more I realize that if I truly trusted Him, then I wouldn't carry those things with me. So, my lesson is that I have to trust more. Trust that even though there are people who will chose to do the bare minimum (if you can call it that) or tell me that I no need worry about the sun in my eyes 'cause I have that black $hit there anyway, God has put them in my life for a purpose.
Just because I stay longer at school or listen to the kids' problems, I am not a bad person. I'm tired of people telling others' not to judge them for things that they AREN'T doing or doing DIFFERENTLY. Yea, yea, okay I get it already...But, rather than feel guilty that I might've been doing that, my new response is, "Then don't do anything that is judgment-worthy! 'Cause that's not me judging you, that's yo'self judging yo'self. NO BLAME ME! And hey, pot, this is the kettle speaking, aren't you judging me right back when you assume that I'm judging you?"
Okay, rant over. LOL. Like I said, I'm still a work in progress.
"I'm gonna keep on, keep on , keep on movin...Gonna keep on, keep on, keep on grooving...Keep on singing and dancing all through the night..."
bonus points if you tell me where that's from.
Sunday, July 27, 2008
Posted by hotstones at 8:13 PM
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3 comments:
First off...Brady Bunch. I cheated though and Googled it because Jay thought it was Soul II Soul "Keep on Movin'" I think his taste in music is sometimes eclectic, and is that really your style?
Anyway, I'm think I'm in the camp that thinks we all judge. No one likes to be judged, but it is human nature to do it. And no, that's not to justify my own judging, which I am definitely guilty of. It's what I really think. That being said, I think that being judged is a part of life. It's not a good thing, but it's there.
I think that if we believe in who we are and what we are doing, other people judging us doesn't really matter. I'm sensitive. And when people say $hit about me and I hear, it hurts. Yet, I also feel deep in my bones that those people have no right to judge me, just like I have to right to judge them.
I guess what I'm saying through all that rambling is that if I like me and what I'm doing, I'll endure other people not liking me. When it's all said and done, if I'm satisfied with myself at the end of the day and I've done nothing to embarrass my children (my barometer), then it's been a good day.
If you're happy with you, who you really are, then who cares what other people think!
Here's one for you... Easy, but appropriate.
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
That's it, I'm going to Paris. =) Thanks, Deena...
Is Brady Bunch my style? Wait, I don't get it...lol
Wish I could say that I was being more helpful to keep you accountable...but I think that the peeps getting on your nerves are getting on my nerves even more, just because of sympathy pains. People are going to wonder why I'm so cold to them when they haven't even done anything to me. Residual irritation. I have a problem with that.
But for reals...I am slowly (well, not that slowly) coming to the conclusion that my efforts have to be as good as it gets for right now. As much as I want to "influence" others at times, I just don't think that I can waste my energy on that right now. Like it says in 1 Peter...our example alone can move husbands who have strayed or are not believers...I can't exactly change anyone, but I can set as good a model as I can.
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